Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.

This particular episode of Family Guy was watched by 6.4 million people. O’Reilly rebroadcast it to another 3.4 million people, many of whom didn’t see the original airing. Using a liberal [not the amoral kind] estimate of the overlap (and let’s be honest- these are very different demographics), your stint on The O’Reilly Factor likely exposed the offending video to some 2 million people who hadn’t seen it. And, as Bill sheepishly points out, not everyone in his audience “has a computer,” so they wouldn’t have otherwise viewed it online. You have, in essence, spread the virus to find the antibody. Pretty kinky.

Let’s move on to the next gem of public service you spit at us: the whole “R-word” thing where Rahm Emanuel should give up his job for saying it vs. Rush Limbaugh’s use of the word being acceptable because [not unlike Mark Twain] he’s a “satirist.”

First, let’s make one detail perfectly clear: Rahm Emanuel said ‘retard’ once in a private meeting that included perhaps a dozen people. Rush Limbaugh used the word over and over while intentionally speaking into a microphone that he’s well aware broadcasts to millions of people daily (I didn’t research the number, as it would only depress me). So, you were a dominant force in exposing someone’s bad manners to millions who would have otherwise never heard them.

Now we get to the part where you defend Limbaugh on the basis that he was using the word “satirically.” Both Seth MacFarland and Rush Limbaugh have used satire to entertain their audiences, one arguably more effectively than the other. By defending Rush and knocking Seth, you’ve reduced your argument to a matter of comedic taste.

So, I guess you’re on a crusade to rid the world of a prejudice by making sure that as many people as possible hear it, but then afterward see your shrewd, disappointed scowl over silent video feed. But you are being realistic here: you know you’ll never succeed, so you will settle for the slurs to only be used in satirical references that the American people can truly appreciate.

I guess that at least one solution that could relieve your anguish is to establish some sort of Federally-controlled Commission to ensure that broadcast Communications don’t offend the American public. Then, you could totally complain to them when something like this pisses you off.

But, I guess that would be a product of Big Government, wouldn’t it? And you’ve spent too much time at too many Holiday Inns riling up these Tea Party folks to combat superfluous, federally-funded agencies just like this.

Sarah Palin… what is it that you want? You’re consistantly hiding behind the very wall you’re trying tear down- and it makes you look like silly to anyone actually paying attention.

Sorry- thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

U.S. astronauts have just completed work on the Tranquility module aboard the International Space Station, including the ultimate accommodation… an observation deck that offers panoramic views of the surrounding universe. According to USA Today:

Tranquility’s unique feature is the Italian-built cupola, a domed-shaped annex with seven windows and a 360-degree view.

Not even Trump’s hyperboles can top that one.

OK… yes… the geeks are known to be a bit harsh, especially given Apple’s ravenous fanbase, all of whom await the next announcement with the expectation of the cure to every technological ailment they are currently experiencing. But here’s where their cynicism is helpful (sorry Conan)… most of them have experienced Steve Jobs’ 2.0 hat trick. Hype, announce, sell, wait for feedback, improve: it all happens within the first 6-9 months of any new Apple product. A common technophile adage is, “Never buy an Apple first gen.”

What’s annoying about the iPad, unlike many Apple newbies, it that it appears to have so many rather obvious shortcomings. The first actually kills off one of the arguments of the iPad embracers: iPad as a textbook alternative. No multitasking means no taking notes in your word processor as you read your eBook. My guess is that textbook publishers would be able to (and would be insane not to) embed an annotation function into their e-reader app, but that’s simply not going to be the most efficient way to take notes. Another publisher might have a different app, and all of the sudden you end up with a set of notes per app that you must manage separately. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. The simplest solution is to just pull up a word processor that can hyperlink to your eBook for reference, and that’s a no-go for a non-multitasking device.

The publication revolution, in my opinion, is limited mainly to magazines and super high circulation newspapers like the New York Times. All other news is more efficiently gathered via RSS, news aggregates or social media. You might want to read a local paper’s take on a national story, but you aren’t likely to buy a year’s subscription to their app. The iPad could certainly pave the way for the magazines to reinvent themselves as e-publications, but it will really need to dominate the market to make any major development cost effective. As it stands, anything developed for the iPhone-like OS is proprietary to that OS, and thus really hard to justify. Unless it sells like hotcakes, I’m not sure that publications that are operating at a loss will be willing to put all so many eggs into the iPad basket.

Here’s my long and short: the techies were expecting a netbook, and laymen consumers didn’t know what to expect. The result? There’s a very cool Kindle replacement on the market right now. End of story. It isn’t a Macbook, it isn’t an iPhone and it certainly isn’t the Mac Tablet. It’s an iPad, and it will either get a whole lot better come this summer, or go the way of the Mac Cube… redeveloped into a tangible, hefty device that supports more of our wildest digital dreams.

Underwhelmed.

It’s an eBook reader that looks hard to hold. Also, no multitasking. Apple seems to be attempting to break into the gaming market here as well, but I’m not sure that I see myself playing my favorite video game via an interactive picture frame.

Oh, and I’m willing to risk being wrong about this… but no one wants to use iWork- even on a touch screen.

Methinks that the individual publication apps will be the saving grace for this thing…

(A thumbs-up to Joshua Topolsky of Engadget for a great live blog of the announcement.)

Those aren't smile lines.

This week has been no exception. I need a writing tablet for some graphics work. Apple seems to be releasing a Mac Tablet, and maybe there’s an app for that. Thing is, unless it either syncs as a writing device via Bluetooth to my Macbook or an app is created within seconds of it’s release, I can’t purchase the Mac Tablet for graphics. I’ll just go out and get what I know will work. Naturally, I will decide that I want a Mac Tablet down the road, an app will be created that makes it easier to use my tablet as a graphics tablet and… viola!… I will have yet another redundant and useless piece of gadgetry to shove into the big, plastic container that is home to my Sony Clie, 128Mb mp3 player and micless web cam.

Sigh. Haiti still needs help. Donate $10 to the American Red Cross by texting Haiti to 90999.

Sometimes our problems are really, really mundane and futile.

Preachy message begins here: Any and all cynicism aside, the future is extremely exciting- especially when we as consumers are able to get our hands on it. I’m a technology geek to no end, and have been anticipating the Apple announcement from the moment I laid eyes the color-splashed invitation. Before running out to spend a paycheck on a Mac Tablet, I hope that the techies out there have put some money into a piece of the future that neither Apple nor Google can perfect with all of the brilliant engineers they can staff. Just like technology, people must advance. And to advance, people mustn’t knowingly allow other people to suffer. The law of accelerating returns must also apply to humanity’s social consideration, otherwise we will become a high tech civilization without the morals to guide it. And we’ve seen Brazil.

Another kudos for first developing it for the Windows 7 crowd, which will likely consist of people upgrading from Windows XP and taking their first step into the live web experience. The whole development model looks very well thought-out.

The one fundamentally frightening issue is that apps such as Seesmic could mean that our PC-comforted parents might finally sign up for Twitter accounts. Following @jennajameson and hastags like #howwastedwasilastnight could become a relic of a freer, more frivolous era of social networking. Remember what your MySpace account looked like? Sigh.

As a Late Night fan from the very beginning, lately I’ve been excited to see the original Conan attitude again. Not unlike the mid-90s Late Night, when O’Brien was constantly teetering on the verge of cancellation due to his inexperience, Conan’s red pompadour was a beacon of comedic brilliance last night as the carefree butt of his own jokes. O’Brien got his mojo back in a role that fits him perfectly: the readily pummeled victim of the identifiable corporate bully that has been NBC.

The next show will feature Conan as the dethroned king of Late Night. Not only does that give Conan a nemesis in NBC, but also that “not yet ready for the big leagues” attitude that works so well for him. That cocktail should make for a nightcap that might even have Letterman worried about Conan as competition (assuming he’s on at 11:35).

While I’ll miss the characters he’ll have to leave in the vaults of NBC, as well as the theme song, I can only be excited that the departure from The Tonight Show has popped Conan right back into his groove.

While solid editorial writing should come at a premium just like everything else, the power of great columnists can’t possibly be enough to push a readership that hasn’t had a newspaper subscription for years into paying for their news.

Given the massive amount of publishing display devices at CES this year, as well as Apple’s probable announcement of a tablet Mac next week, it seems to make more sense for the Times to suck up last quarters’ losses and hold off for six months to eye developing a compelling “virtual newspaper” based on an API used by one of these new devices.

Magazines will most certainly take advantage of this technology… and I predict will fast become exclusive to the new medium (the transition will likely be quick… magazines putting out tablet editions would essentially have to publish two editions per issue if also putting out the traditional paper edition). It seems more plausible that Times readers would be more apt to subscribe to something that is tangible as an edition rather than a series of web pages. Consumers still know the web as a free source of information, no matter how expertly crafted.

Rumor has it that Oprah will announced that she’s taking her flagship syndicated “Oprah” show to her own private cable network OWN in 2011.

It looks ballsy- and it is in late 2009. But in 2011, she’d be in prime real estate… her own.  Sparing the rant, cable nets will probably be even more diverse and specific in two years, and will cater to audiences as such.

Essentially, Oprah has used her syndicated show as an armada to expand her territory and secure her empire. 2011 could be a good time to bring the ships to port and rule her lands. In my opinion, the timing is either slightly premature, or spot on.

This feels like it could be a very good move, or at least a really interesting experiment to watch as it relates to media brand establishment.

So here I am… ready to make the plunge into either the Verizon or AT&T pool for the Droid or the iPhone. Admittedly, I’m a little disturbed by what I’ve read and heard about the AT&T network. But I can only imagine that the company will be forced into expanding their coverage and options as a response to the more solid Verizon and Sprint networks in an attempt to retain their exclusivity with Apple. And the warm blanket of the Verizon network is likely a significant factor to anyone thinking of ditching the iPhone and  heading over to the Droid.

The other plus… Motorola. I’ve had a Moto Q for years, and considering its age and software (Windows Mobile 6), I have absolutely no complaints. From the StarTAC to the Razr, the guys and gals of Motorola have a history of putting out consumer favorites.

Android 2.0 and all that it can be against iPhone OS is arguably the sexiest part of the Droid experience. I’ve run the emulator via the development software, and I am a little smitten. It’s what you’d expect from Google… stable, simple and integrated with plenty of room to grow into itself. If iPhone OS is a Mercedes, then Android is a Beemer. At this point, it’s all about look, feel and loyalty.

But here’s where iPhone continues to have the advantage with me: Apple makes both the hardware AND the software. To illustrate the significance here, look at the long-standing OS X vs. Windows debate. The reason that OS X is so compelling to Mac users is because it’s been built specifically for the hardware it’s running on. The Mac is made for OS X, and OS X is made for the Mac. It’s preconceived kismet. With Windows, your experience is largely determined by the operating system’s interaction with your hardware. Microsoft didn’t make your PC, it’s just trying to manage it for you. Every PC is a Frankenstein’s monster of parts that were designed with Windows in mind, but not necessarily streamlined for a harmonious experience. The disadvantage is the same with Android. Even a well-designed OS will have shortcomings if it doesn’t have a very personal relationship with it’s hardware. Android is designed to operate on any smartphone that wants to take advantage of it, potentially opening the door to problems that Windows has faced for years.

Last, in terms of the apps, iPhone has the upper hand, but I think that this will likely change. Android’s open platform is a set of welcoming arms to developers. The reason it hasn’t had a large following up until now is because there really hasn’t been a significant smartphone to wield it’s true power. The Droid and its predecessors will change that.

So, at the precipice, I’m jumping to the iPhone for now. Once a PC user who started in the DOS days, I’ve found later in life that power and ease of use trumps ability to manipulate the system, and Apple delivers where it counts given their software/hardware interface. My leap of faith really lies with AT&T, who I’m counting on to stay competitive in this market that’s expanding at a Big Bang kind of rate.

AFTERTHOUGHT: In times of trouble, Apple isn’t so dumb in the “bring it” arena. Remember Bootcamp? The message there was simple: “Want to choose your OS on our awesome hardware? That’s cool. We respect that. Just remember that Windows can be removed at any time.” And it we removed it. Quickly. I wouldn’t put it past them to allow Android bootup on the next gen iPhone if things get hairy.

UPDATE: Screw it… I’m going with the Droid.